I'll take alll the squeezes 🥹🫂 Thank you for being here, Caroline! You're a much cherished friend.
"The ache and cruelty of girls will always gut me." This!!!! Whilst I was watching the beginning episodes, I thought to myself...I will never not be stunned by the cruelty of girls.
I feel you on the sweatshirts. They are a fall/winter staple for me.
"I think every young girl goes to war with longing regardless of her circumstances." ooof that got me. so beautiful.
I've been writing about summer reads and a vacation in the sun but summer absolutely depresses me when it comes to anything that is not the beach, pool, or vacation. being at work, the harsh sunshine on concrete strip malls, wearing business casual and sweating in synthetic fabrics AWFUL. everything is overexposed and aggressive. 🖤
Yes! Summer is vulgar! The sweat, the swelling, heat makes me so grumpy. Glad I have my favorite book newsletter, Subverse Reads, to lean on for recs to help carry me through!! 😍
You know, I’ve never really kept a journal consistently and I always LOVE when people revisit theirs and share the emotions they dredge up. It’s such an intimate part of oneself to share, so thank you babe 🙏🏼 beautiful as always.
Beautiful writing in this post as per usual, Jenovia. I am with you re: summer. I was thinking just yesterday about having to become “indoorsy” and against my true nature because of years and years of bad migraines made much worse by humidity and now heat intolerance from my long COVID (which makes my tachycardia worse and I can’t regulate my own temperature). My brain turns into foggy mush as well. Ugh, it’s crappy. I feel for you too. Our NY humidity is the pits.
Here’s my favorite concealer. I’ve never found one like it - so creamy and smooth, and doesn’t settle into my fine lines: Check out this product at Sephora.com - Kosas Revealer Super Creamy + Brightening Concealer with Caffeine and Hyaluronic Acid - Tone 3.8 Nhttps://www.sephora.com/product/kosas-revealer-concealer-P456151
Ugh, I am so sorry you go through that. It IS crappy. Especially when you love outside so much! Hoping for a mild, not too depressing summer for us both and that it flies by! 😬😭
I've been wanting to try Kosas concealer for so long and I keep forgetting about it!!!! I hear amazing things. I think I'm going to buy a mini and try it out. Thank you for reminding me 😍
The beautiful reflections and care taken to softly accept things as they are I know took quite some time. What truly amazes me is that you made it so far from the rubble of your past life and have blossomed into the most emotionally intellectual awe inspiring sentient being I've ever met in this lifetime. You should be so calloused but you're not. You should be so angry but you're not. You have every right to curse any idea of a God because if there was one, how could they let this happen, but you don't. On the contrary, you’re the antithesis of those things. Sweet, Soft and Lovely when it would be completely understandable for you to not be. I know it took time but you did it! I'm exceedingly grateful to have you in my life. I'm also grateful that you've helped me win my own war of longing. I've been surrounded by a big family and circle of friends my whole life and always felt this immense loneliness that came from lack of deep meaningful connection. I've never felt so seen, accepted, heard and understood by anyone in my life. For me you are one of “those souls that speak your particular language, that are able to reach in and jolt you awake with more life and love than you had on your own”, I know you already know that but I felt that one in my chest. Here’s to you, the universe and all the magic and alchemy that brought us right where we are. Also thanks for being a lighthouse in the fog and for another beautiful piece. Bravo my dearest.
You've known all the adventures I've been on, all of the wild dreams that came true for me...you are by far the most magical thing that has ever crossed my path. Then. Now. It was always you. Thank you for loving me the way that you do. You are that lighthouse for me. The beacon that guided me to shore. It is the absolute pleasure of my life getting to walk through the days hand in hand with you!
What a beautiful thing to say. I’m beside myself with this comment. Very well aware of your journey as you are mine. Considering all of that it puts you and I both in an immense state of gratitude. You too are the most magical thing that’s ever crossed my path. I feel the same way about getting to do life with you. I’ve never laughed so hard over everything. Your influence and love in my life has got me wondering in every pocket of silence I have to myself “what was I doing with my life before you entered it?” Wildly greatful my reality is laying my head to rest and waking up next to you everyday. Here’s to the rest of our lives and long after into the spirit realm. I’ll find you always.
Beautiful and inspiring, as a fellow migraine sufferer I feel your pain (or something similar) so sharing a story set in a cold climate that perhaps will carry you away as it did me. 'The Lost Bookshop' by Evie Woods, about a 1/3 in I said out loud 'I never want this to end' and on page 331 that same sentiment appears on the page, I've never felt so connected to a book and am thrilled to see she has a new release coming out Aug. Wishing you all good things!
Ah Shire! You book angel!! I absolutely could use a story set in a cold climate. Thank you so much for this. I was just thinking today about what book I should read next considering I've been a little sad with summer fast approaching. Thank you thank you ☺️
It's not often that I don't resell to the used bookstore that I frequent, because I had the misfortune of having to clear out a book hoarders home upon her passing and it took nearly a year of weekends so I don't keep many, but they are not getting this one back!
Oh, the journals. The years of writing through the ache. The way I wanted to KNOW EVERYTHING and be edgy and sophisticated and so I threw away my softness and my innocence because they were childish. Now, I see those were the gifts. But I also accept that the hardening and the return to softness IS the journey. This is why I love little girls and very old women. They embody both innocence and wisdom. I'm realizing, on my quest back to softness--three year-old-me knew way more than I gave her credit for. I'll find my way back to her by the time I'm eighty. You inspire me so, Jenovia.
"But I also accept that the hardening and the return to softness IS the journey." Yes! We all go through some form of hardening. Defenses needed to survive our lives. Eventually we outgrow them (hopefully) and return back to our original, most tender selves. You're already finding your way back to her, Isabel and it has been wonderful to witness. No doubt, the 4 little hammer tenderizers that are your beautiful boys aid in the process 😍
I love you!!! Thank you. I'm so glad you're on the app now! Try the concealer before you buy it. Clé de peau is carried at Neiman Marcus and some Nordstrom stores as well.
The wisdom we hold now... how wonderful it would be to share it with our younger selves who seem just like fledging ducks just feeling the world so curiously and strongly. This is lovely piece, Jenovia. I'm sure if your younger self could see how wise she's become by now, she'd be so proud.
If only! I’m not sure how much my advice would have been heeded by younger me but sometimes I like torturing myself with the chance I might have listened 😂😭😬 Thankfully, I’m growing out of that as well. Thank you, Bethel. Past me is proud. We got here a little beat up with some wonky parts but we got here!!! 😮💨❤️🔥
Such a cathartic exhale Jenovia. I found myself wanting to talk to the Jenovia in twenty years who once again, revisits those journals. How will her perspective differ? Or will she decide she doesn’t even want to go back again? It’s deep shamanic work you’re doing, untangling the trauma of generations through your own willingness to stare it down and offer it love. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Thank you for always seeing me, Kimberly. I am so grateful. Joe said the same thing…perhaps I won’t need/want to re-visit them. I plan on making the next 20 years the best I’ve ever had, so here’s hoping! ❤️🔥💥
Bravo for starring at your former self through your journals, Jenovia. I’m sure that wasn’t easy, but then, most things that are easy aren’t worth doing.
Also, loved the line:
“Wanting to know everything immediately instead of allowing time to gently unfold the answers before you.”
I’m so glad that you’re on the other side of such a heavy task, Jenovia. ❤️ I’m with you re: summer, by the way. Redheads weren’t bred for this season!!
You consistently have the best link roundups, for what it’s worth. I got totally immersed in the story about the guy who kicked the markers of Alzheimer’s…and really want to try your concealer! 😅
Thank you, Maddie. Best compliment ever! I love sharing what I read. That Alzheimer’s story was 🤯 and also makes sense. Makes my walks/light jogs even more nonnegotiable! The concealer is ahhmazing. I don’t like touching up makeup and it stays put. A second favorite is NARS radiant creamy concealer. 🩵
I've used the NARS concealer for at least five years now, and I adore it...but I've also been itching to try something from Clé de Peau for awhile. So this might be my "in"!
🙏 If you go in for the CDP concealer, get a sample of their eye cream too! Just tell them you want to try it before you commit. (Both the eye balm and the eye cream supreme are my fav for moisturizing the eye area)
Every time I hear someone mention The Artist's Way (or any of her books) I want to drop everything and start reading it, but then I always forget. But you've at least re-motivated me to consider it!
I was the same exact way for YEARS, Chris!!! I kept hearing about her and her books, until I finally listened to the nudge and read them. Here is your nudge!!! 🙏
I want to reach through the ether and hold little you and you now. Biggest squeeze ever!!!
I’m in awe of your brilliance and loving power. It’s such a privilege to be a witness to your experience. 🕸️💕🕸️
Ps—Under the bridge has broken my heart again and again. A painful but necessary watch. The ache and cruelty of girls will always gut me.
And I can no longer wear sweatshirts outside during the day and that’s the worst part of summer for me.
I'll take alll the squeezes 🥹🫂 Thank you for being here, Caroline! You're a much cherished friend.
"The ache and cruelty of girls will always gut me." This!!!! Whilst I was watching the beginning episodes, I thought to myself...I will never not be stunned by the cruelty of girls.
I feel you on the sweatshirts. They are a fall/winter staple for me.
"I think every young girl goes to war with longing regardless of her circumstances." ooof that got me. so beautiful.
I've been writing about summer reads and a vacation in the sun but summer absolutely depresses me when it comes to anything that is not the beach, pool, or vacation. being at work, the harsh sunshine on concrete strip malls, wearing business casual and sweating in synthetic fabrics AWFUL. everything is overexposed and aggressive. 🖤
Yes! Summer is vulgar! The sweat, the swelling, heat makes me so grumpy. Glad I have my favorite book newsletter, Subverse Reads, to lean on for recs to help carry me through!! 😍
Raising my hand, not a fan of summer.
Bright light, heat, humidity . . . and other things.
Anyway - want to join Estivators Anonymous with me?
https://www.britannica.com/science/dormancy/Dormancy-hibernation-and-estivation-in-warm-blooded-vertebrates
Yes and Yes!!! 🙏
You know, I’ve never really kept a journal consistently and I always LOVE when people revisit theirs and share the emotions they dredge up. It’s such an intimate part of oneself to share, so thank you babe 🙏🏼 beautiful as always.
It was cathartic AND I'm glad to put them away for another 20 years. Thank YOU for being here ❤️🔥
Beautiful writing in this post as per usual, Jenovia. I am with you re: summer. I was thinking just yesterday about having to become “indoorsy” and against my true nature because of years and years of bad migraines made much worse by humidity and now heat intolerance from my long COVID (which makes my tachycardia worse and I can’t regulate my own temperature). My brain turns into foggy mush as well. Ugh, it’s crappy. I feel for you too. Our NY humidity is the pits.
Here’s my favorite concealer. I’ve never found one like it - so creamy and smooth, and doesn’t settle into my fine lines: Check out this product at Sephora.com - Kosas Revealer Super Creamy + Brightening Concealer with Caffeine and Hyaluronic Acid - Tone 3.8 Nhttps://www.sephora.com/product/kosas-revealer-concealer-P456151
Ok, that link is dumb. Sorry.
It lets me use the link in email. Substack is so weird.
Thank you, Amy!
Ugh, I am so sorry you go through that. It IS crappy. Especially when you love outside so much! Hoping for a mild, not too depressing summer for us both and that it flies by! 😬😭
I've been wanting to try Kosas concealer for so long and I keep forgetting about it!!!! I hear amazing things. I think I'm going to buy a mini and try it out. Thank you for reminding me 😍
The beautiful reflections and care taken to softly accept things as they are I know took quite some time. What truly amazes me is that you made it so far from the rubble of your past life and have blossomed into the most emotionally intellectual awe inspiring sentient being I've ever met in this lifetime. You should be so calloused but you're not. You should be so angry but you're not. You have every right to curse any idea of a God because if there was one, how could they let this happen, but you don't. On the contrary, you’re the antithesis of those things. Sweet, Soft and Lovely when it would be completely understandable for you to not be. I know it took time but you did it! I'm exceedingly grateful to have you in my life. I'm also grateful that you've helped me win my own war of longing. I've been surrounded by a big family and circle of friends my whole life and always felt this immense loneliness that came from lack of deep meaningful connection. I've never felt so seen, accepted, heard and understood by anyone in my life. For me you are one of “those souls that speak your particular language, that are able to reach in and jolt you awake with more life and love than you had on your own”, I know you already know that but I felt that one in my chest. Here’s to you, the universe and all the magic and alchemy that brought us right where we are. Also thanks for being a lighthouse in the fog and for another beautiful piece. Bravo my dearest.
You're the best, I love when you pop up on here.
You've known all the adventures I've been on, all of the wild dreams that came true for me...you are by far the most magical thing that has ever crossed my path. Then. Now. It was always you. Thank you for loving me the way that you do. You are that lighthouse for me. The beacon that guided me to shore. It is the absolute pleasure of my life getting to walk through the days hand in hand with you!
What a beautiful thing to say. I’m beside myself with this comment. Very well aware of your journey as you are mine. Considering all of that it puts you and I both in an immense state of gratitude. You too are the most magical thing that’s ever crossed my path. I feel the same way about getting to do life with you. I’ve never laughed so hard over everything. Your influence and love in my life has got me wondering in every pocket of silence I have to myself “what was I doing with my life before you entered it?” Wildly greatful my reality is laying my head to rest and waking up next to you everyday. Here’s to the rest of our lives and long after into the spirit realm. I’ll find you always.
Always!
♾️💥
Yes
Beautiful and inspiring, as a fellow migraine sufferer I feel your pain (or something similar) so sharing a story set in a cold climate that perhaps will carry you away as it did me. 'The Lost Bookshop' by Evie Woods, about a 1/3 in I said out loud 'I never want this to end' and on page 331 that same sentiment appears on the page, I've never felt so connected to a book and am thrilled to see she has a new release coming out Aug. Wishing you all good things!
Ah Shire! You book angel!! I absolutely could use a story set in a cold climate. Thank you so much for this. I was just thinking today about what book I should read next considering I've been a little sad with summer fast approaching. Thank you thank you ☺️
It's not often that I don't resell to the used bookstore that I frequent, because I had the misfortune of having to clear out a book hoarders home upon her passing and it took nearly a year of weekends so I don't keep many, but they are not getting this one back!
Can’t wait to read this book!
Oh, the journals. The years of writing through the ache. The way I wanted to KNOW EVERYTHING and be edgy and sophisticated and so I threw away my softness and my innocence because they were childish. Now, I see those were the gifts. But I also accept that the hardening and the return to softness IS the journey. This is why I love little girls and very old women. They embody both innocence and wisdom. I'm realizing, on my quest back to softness--three year-old-me knew way more than I gave her credit for. I'll find my way back to her by the time I'm eighty. You inspire me so, Jenovia.
"But I also accept that the hardening and the return to softness IS the journey." Yes! We all go through some form of hardening. Defenses needed to survive our lives. Eventually we outgrow them (hopefully) and return back to our original, most tender selves. You're already finding your way back to her, Isabel and it has been wonderful to witness. No doubt, the 4 little hammer tenderizers that are your beautiful boys aid in the process 😍
I love you!!!! I hope it’s the least burdensome summer for you.
Thank you for the recommendations- I am eyeing that concealer (currently sold out in beige)
I love you!!! Thank you. I'm so glad you're on the app now! Try the concealer before you buy it. Clé de peau is carried at Neiman Marcus and some Nordstrom stores as well.
The wisdom we hold now... how wonderful it would be to share it with our younger selves who seem just like fledging ducks just feeling the world so curiously and strongly. This is lovely piece, Jenovia. I'm sure if your younger self could see how wise she's become by now, she'd be so proud.
If only! I’m not sure how much my advice would have been heeded by younger me but sometimes I like torturing myself with the chance I might have listened 😂😭😬 Thankfully, I’m growing out of that as well. Thank you, Bethel. Past me is proud. We got here a little beat up with some wonky parts but we got here!!! 😮💨❤️🔥
Such a cathartic exhale Jenovia. I found myself wanting to talk to the Jenovia in twenty years who once again, revisits those journals. How will her perspective differ? Or will she decide she doesn’t even want to go back again? It’s deep shamanic work you’re doing, untangling the trauma of generations through your own willingness to stare it down and offer it love. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Thank you for always seeing me, Kimberly. I am so grateful. Joe said the same thing…perhaps I won’t need/want to re-visit them. I plan on making the next 20 years the best I’ve ever had, so here’s hoping! ❤️🔥💥
Bravo for starring at your former self through your journals, Jenovia. I’m sure that wasn’t easy, but then, most things that are easy aren’t worth doing.
Also, loved the line:
“Wanting to know everything immediately instead of allowing time to gently unfold the answers before you.”
— I related to that one!
Thanks Jenovia :)
Hear Hear!! Thank you, Michael. 💥
I’m so glad that you’re on the other side of such a heavy task, Jenovia. ❤️ I’m with you re: summer, by the way. Redheads weren’t bred for this season!!
You consistently have the best link roundups, for what it’s worth. I got totally immersed in the story about the guy who kicked the markers of Alzheimer’s…and really want to try your concealer! 😅
Thank you, Maddie. Best compliment ever! I love sharing what I read. That Alzheimer’s story was 🤯 and also makes sense. Makes my walks/light jogs even more nonnegotiable! The concealer is ahhmazing. I don’t like touching up makeup and it stays put. A second favorite is NARS radiant creamy concealer. 🩵
I've used the NARS concealer for at least five years now, and I adore it...but I've also been itching to try something from Clé de Peau for awhile. So this might be my "in"!
🙏 If you go in for the CDP concealer, get a sample of their eye cream too! Just tell them you want to try it before you commit. (Both the eye balm and the eye cream supreme are my fav for moisturizing the eye area)
*furiously taking notes* On it!
Every time I hear someone mention The Artist's Way (or any of her books) I want to drop everything and start reading it, but then I always forget. But you've at least re-motivated me to consider it!
I was the same exact way for YEARS, Chris!!! I kept hearing about her and her books, until I finally listened to the nudge and read them. Here is your nudge!!! 🙏
Ahh ok well this is accountability then! 😀