Point Me Towards Those Women Writers...
And other thoughts and questions in February
Write, let no one hold you back, let nothing stop you: not man; not the imbecilic capitalist machinery…and not yourself.
-The Laugh of the Medusa by Hélène Cixous
Random thoughts and questions that have accumulated to the point of distraction:
Divorce memoirs are very en vogue right now, especially amongst the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s crowd. I think they are extremely important. I’ve read my fair share. I don’t relate and I don’t need to in order to enjoy good writing. I will always cheer for women and the decisions they make for themselves. Partner, no partner. Children, no children. I just received Leslie Jamison’s Splinters but I don’t consider that a divorce memoir. It is a memoir with divorce in it. I’ve met my quota for reading divorce memoirs in 2023-2024. Can anyone point me towards new women writers that write about careers and life in their 30’s and older? Also new-newish women writers whose lives don’t revolve around children and being a mother? Women’s lives are so much more than being a wife and/or a mother and I would like to read those stories. Maybe I just need to wait for more time to pass to get new material from the newly divorced memoirists? Any suggestions would be much appreciated! (I’m talking books, I already follow incredible women who write some of my favorite Substacks that lead the most interesting lives like
, , , , , and . )If inspiration strikes at 3am, 5am, WRITE IT DOWN. It doesn’t matter if you annoy your partner with the glow of the phone screen or with the lamp switching on to scribble on a notepad. There will be moments when you tell yourself you’ll remember in the morning. You will not. You have got to respect the Muse when she arrives because she’s not making a second trip.
The deepest truth I know about myself is that I most likely will never create anything as beautiful nor as powerful as the life I have made for myself alone and the life that I choose to share with my partner. The greatest challenge that will always stand before me is creating something to equal its glory. The truth of my life has always been greater than fiction and whilst I’ve spent many years in contempt with this notion, I’ve finally surrendered to it. My life is my chef-dœuvre. Every choice, every right and wrong bend, every triumph, every disaster. I will continue to create the masterpiece that is my life with definition, precision, full of heart and always with a childlike sense of wonder. Always as a witness. Always as a participant.
You will one day read a text in horror as someone you love tells you she’s staying with him even though what he did during their relationship is much too heinous for someone to actually want for themselves. Know that you can never save another woman who is intent on holding her own head under water. Love her anyway, even if it is from afar.
The older I get, the less I care about the way I look in the most empowering way possible. The amount of bandwidth you free up when you stop worrying about your weight, your features, and taking up space in the bullshit world of beauty, is astounding. You become infinitely more interesting when your world doesn’t revolve around the worry of physical attributes. I’ve shared my mantra before and I’ll share it again: The way I look is the least interesting thing about me. My body works, I have all of my senses, hallelujer. I’m ready to paaaaaaartaaaay. By that I mean sit at my writing desk and finish my book.
Believe people when they say weird shit starts happening to your body after 40. I just recently entered my 40’s and weird shit is happening. Nothing crazy, nothing extreme but definitely weird.
This quote from James Baldwin: “I do not mean to be sentimental about suffering – enough is certainly as good as a feast – but people who cannot suffer can never grow up, can never discover who they are. That man who is forced each day to snatch his manhood, his identity, out of the fire of human cruelty that rages to destroy it knows, if he survives his effort, and even if he does not survive it, something about himself and human life that no school on earth – and indeed, no church – can teach. He achieves his own authority, and that is unshakable.
This is because, in order to save his life, he is forced to look beneath appearances, to take nothing for granted, to hear the meaning behind the words. If one is continually surviving the worse that life can bring, one eventually ceases to be controlled by a fear of what life can bring; whatever it brings must be borne. And at this level of experience one’s bitterness begins to be palatable, and hatred becomes too heavy a sack to carry.”This quote from Tom Waits: “When you’re writing, you’re conjuring. It’s a ritual, and you need to be brave and respectful and sometimes get out of the way of whatever it is that you’re inviting into the room.”
Cynicism is so lazy and an annoying wail that represents how much pain you are in. Stop whining that it hurts and go deal with those bleeding wounds.
The magic and cuteness of nanalan’ haunts me. The nanlan’ Youtube Channel is hilarious and I hope they get a Netflix deal. I’ve never seen anything so adorable and so feel good in my life! (Okay, maybe Lamb Chops Play-Along is a close second) I’ve been obsessed with all things nanalan’ for almost a year now and watching their videos on Instagram & Youtube makes me squeal with laughter. I’m not too embarrassed to say I have three different nanalan’ coffee/tea mugs that I drink out of and they bring me insane amounts of joy. I also love reading the comments from people with age ranges of 30-65, saying how much they love nanalan’ and none of it makes sense but all of it makes sense. We are talking grown men that work in construction losing their ever loving shit over Nana, Mona and “Russer”. Hilarious!
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Love always,
Jenovia
So deeply honored to be included here 😍 and damn did some of these HIT. Number 5 (!!!) leading into number 6- I suspect 40s will be a delicious decade and I. Am. Excited.
I loved turning 40. You’re right in the pocket of embodying your truest self and not giving a shit what other people think.
My late 40s, not so amazing. Aside from the extensive bodily damage from Long COVID since age 44, I have recently fully entered perimenopause. No fun. Everything is either drying out, thinning out, or on fire. This should be an interesting several years.