I could write five essays in response to your thoughts. I loathe the pressure women feel around their bodies for industries that create a sense of urgency, fear, lack, competition and then exploit it. We have so much inner-knowing that we lose when we say 'yes' to these pressures, but its almost impossible not to I have a great friend, age 36, who has repeatedly refused IVF "because her body doesn't want it." And I think it's such a beautiful response. She is not stressed. She believes in her capacities and in the fulness of time. Frankly, for how long we'll live the forties are the beginning of the second third of life :)
I also felt that when I found the right partner, an anchor dropped in my life and I was able to expand and heal in ways I couldn't when I was on my own. I felt like a zipping live wire (not always in a good way) and my soul mate was my grounding cord. Our relationship scaffolds me, so I can direct my energy. Some of that, I think was that I found my sexuality to be intimidating and frightening--something I could feel casting heat that affected other people in a way I didn't always intend or want. But being in relationship (and also maturing) I feel that part of myself is no longer unwieldy.
Many thanks for these reflections--my skin sighs with relief imagining the good, clean air in your apartment 🌱
The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far — I can’t heal for other people, I’ve got to do that for me. BUT I can’t heal alone; I need to be seen and nurtured by others. 🤍
"I need to be seen and nurtured by others." Just that ability alone to feel it and say it out loud is incredible, Caroline. Your gorgeous vulnerability will bring so many wonderful things to your life and to the life of others.
"We have so much inner-knowing that we lose when we say 'yes' to these pressures" Exactly! I also believe this influences our bodies and the way they behave. I love your friend's response. I know some couples who haven't even attempted to conceive naturally and I'm gobsmacked. It's so funny that you mentioned an anchor dropping in life, I almost put that metaphor in here. It very much feels that way. There is so much healing that happens within relationships and I am so grateful. I understand the sexuality part in the way that I felt safer in the world ( in some aspects) when I was in a relationship .There were times it very much felt like lamb, pack of wolves type of existence and I didn't want to have to constantly bare my fangs ( to prove I wasn't prey) whilst I moved through the world. Maturing and learning how to navigate that part of life feels so much better than it did in my 20's! Thank you for sharing all of this, Isabel. I adore and cherish your depth immensely.
I second what Isabel said - I feel like you just reached into my soul. Being truly deeply loved has healed me in ways I didn't know I was wounded. All four things you list are supremely important to me, but the way you have articulated them has shown a light on how I have been letting myself get distracted. I treat your essays like a spiritual experience where I am reminded how I want to be in the world. Its like going to Jenovia church
I love Huberman Lab and I saw that article too. Never (that I have seen) has Andrew ever pretended to be a certain type of person other than a scientist. There is no pact he broke with the audience about how he behaves in his personal life. To me, this just highlights how we cannot treat public people as if they are robots devoid of the complicated parts of being human. Click bait much??
SO EXCITED FOR BEETLEJUICEEEEEEEEEEE. My husband has recently encouraged me to forego the self tanner and embrace my inner pale baddie. I believe its an attempt to turn me into a less petite Jenna Ortega 😂
I haven't read either of those books but I've heard great stuff about My Husband!
I could not agree with you more about not treating public figures like they are robots. All humans have been at one point/are currently messy ESPECIALLY THE FAMOUS ONES! Are they cheat on 6 different women at the big age of almost 50 years old messy...maybe not but what does that have to do with a science podcast?! I can't believe her editor was like YES, let's publish this!
Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable but I ditched the self tanner at 24 years old and embraced my fair skin. It was so liberating!!! Have never applied it once since and don't miss it. I also don't miss having to switch concealer/foundation shades either.
Oh how happy I am to hear about your nesting with Joe, the thriving plants (and how could they not in your presence?!) and the simple domestic adventures of loving. All the decades of death and loss, carried inside you like dark, fertile soil, now nurturing life in its many forms. Your writing is so immediate, close, I always feel like I need to put my phone down after reading your essays, and go outside to celebrate your life with any wild thing that wants to join the party.
Everything that consumes water to live, and needs the warmth of the suns rays to thrive, would benefit greatly from your love and attention my dear. Doing life with you has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given. I said everything in the letter I wrote you and I’ll leave it there to spare being redundant. You rule. I love you. 😘❤️
I'm so excited for you!!! It is such a special time in life. Truly the most fun I've ever had with another person. You guys are going to have the time of your lives! ❤️
I’m just now realizing that I got so absorbed in reading the Andrew Huberman exposé (OMG, what) that I neglected to mention how much I adored reading about the beautiful life you’re creating with Joe. You make house projects and caring for plants and stepping into the magic of everyday life absolutely radiate off the page. 🤩
“The truth of my life has always been greater than fiction…” you define so well a concept I have embraced long and hard. I couldn’t possibly make up some of the shit and wonder that has happened to and for me that is far more interesting than fiction.
'The Exes Who Froze Embryos and Regret It' - I think there is a good chance this becomes a thing of the past. Well, at least the oocyte extraction. Scientists have already demonstrated the ability to make viable oocytes from skin-derived iPSCs. Moreover, they've been shown to be viable after fertilization and result in live births. The caveat here being, this is in small animals and we're still figuring out the human part!
Maybe it'll help even the scales with the biological bully (;
I could write five essays in response to your thoughts. I loathe the pressure women feel around their bodies for industries that create a sense of urgency, fear, lack, competition and then exploit it. We have so much inner-knowing that we lose when we say 'yes' to these pressures, but its almost impossible not to I have a great friend, age 36, who has repeatedly refused IVF "because her body doesn't want it." And I think it's such a beautiful response. She is not stressed. She believes in her capacities and in the fulness of time. Frankly, for how long we'll live the forties are the beginning of the second third of life :)
I also felt that when I found the right partner, an anchor dropped in my life and I was able to expand and heal in ways I couldn't when I was on my own. I felt like a zipping live wire (not always in a good way) and my soul mate was my grounding cord. Our relationship scaffolds me, so I can direct my energy. Some of that, I think was that I found my sexuality to be intimidating and frightening--something I could feel casting heat that affected other people in a way I didn't always intend or want. But being in relationship (and also maturing) I feel that part of myself is no longer unwieldy.
Many thanks for these reflections--my skin sighs with relief imagining the good, clean air in your apartment 🌱
The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far — I can’t heal for other people, I’ve got to do that for me. BUT I can’t heal alone; I need to be seen and nurtured by others. 🤍
"I need to be seen and nurtured by others." Just that ability alone to feel it and say it out loud is incredible, Caroline. Your gorgeous vulnerability will bring so many wonderful things to your life and to the life of others.
🤍🤍❤️🔥
"We have so much inner-knowing that we lose when we say 'yes' to these pressures" Exactly! I also believe this influences our bodies and the way they behave. I love your friend's response. I know some couples who haven't even attempted to conceive naturally and I'm gobsmacked. It's so funny that you mentioned an anchor dropping in life, I almost put that metaphor in here. It very much feels that way. There is so much healing that happens within relationships and I am so grateful. I understand the sexuality part in the way that I felt safer in the world ( in some aspects) when I was in a relationship .There were times it very much felt like lamb, pack of wolves type of existence and I didn't want to have to constantly bare my fangs ( to prove I wasn't prey) whilst I moved through the world. Maturing and learning how to navigate that part of life feels so much better than it did in my 20's! Thank you for sharing all of this, Isabel. I adore and cherish your depth immensely.
Yes yes yes to all of this!!! I’m witnessing you! And I’m an active participant in my own journey 🤍
Ah! Thank you Caroline!! And I, you!!! ❤️🔥
I second what Isabel said - I feel like you just reached into my soul. Being truly deeply loved has healed me in ways I didn't know I was wounded. All four things you list are supremely important to me, but the way you have articulated them has shown a light on how I have been letting myself get distracted. I treat your essays like a spiritual experience where I am reminded how I want to be in the world. Its like going to Jenovia church
I love Huberman Lab and I saw that article too. Never (that I have seen) has Andrew ever pretended to be a certain type of person other than a scientist. There is no pact he broke with the audience about how he behaves in his personal life. To me, this just highlights how we cannot treat public people as if they are robots devoid of the complicated parts of being human. Click bait much??
SO EXCITED FOR BEETLEJUICEEEEEEEEEEE. My husband has recently encouraged me to forego the self tanner and embrace my inner pale baddie. I believe its an attempt to turn me into a less petite Jenna Ortega 😂
I haven't read either of those books but I've heard great stuff about My Husband!
Jenovia Church! I love that! 🥹
I could not agree with you more about not treating public figures like they are robots. All humans have been at one point/are currently messy ESPECIALLY THE FAMOUS ONES! Are they cheat on 6 different women at the big age of almost 50 years old messy...maybe not but what does that have to do with a science podcast?! I can't believe her editor was like YES, let's publish this!
Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable but I ditched the self tanner at 24 years old and embraced my fair skin. It was so liberating!!! Have never applied it once since and don't miss it. I also don't miss having to switch concealer/foundation shades either.
I read "My Husband" in January and I can't recommend it enough. If you are craving something funny, weird and beautiful, this is it.
I LOVE funny, weird, and beautiful! Thank you! Going with "My Husband" ❤️🔥
Oh how happy I am to hear about your nesting with Joe, the thriving plants (and how could they not in your presence?!) and the simple domestic adventures of loving. All the decades of death and loss, carried inside you like dark, fertile soil, now nurturing life in its many forms. Your writing is so immediate, close, I always feel like I need to put my phone down after reading your essays, and go outside to celebrate your life with any wild thing that wants to join the party.
Thank you, Kimberly 🥹 And yes! Please go frolicking outside with all the wild things!
Everything that consumes water to live, and needs the warmth of the suns rays to thrive, would benefit greatly from your love and attention my dear. Doing life with you has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given. I said everything in the letter I wrote you and I’ll leave it there to spare being redundant. You rule. I love you. 😘❤️
Thank you for bringing plants into my life and being the most wonderful human to ever partner with 🥹💗
my husband and I are searching for our home and I cannot *wait* to have PROJECTS!!! absolutely loved this. also need to absorb your green thumb!
I'm so excited for you!!! It is such a special time in life. Truly the most fun I've ever had with another person. You guys are going to have the time of your lives! ❤️
I’m just now realizing that I got so absorbed in reading the Andrew Huberman exposé (OMG, what) that I neglected to mention how much I adored reading about the beautiful life you’re creating with Joe. You make house projects and caring for plants and stepping into the magic of everyday life absolutely radiate off the page. 🤩
Thank you, Maddie! 🥹 it has taken me a while to arrive at this point but now that I have, I love it here 💗
That Huberman mess was A LOT. 😮😬🫠
Beautifully written and thoughtful, Jenovia.
I want to step into that picture of the plants!
Also: BEETLEJUICE! 😆
Thank you, Jolene! 💛 That picture is so dreamy!
“The truth of my life has always been greater than fiction…” you define so well a concept I have embraced long and hard. I couldn’t possibly make up some of the shit and wonder that has happened to and for me that is far more interesting than fiction.
I simultaneously love and loathe it. ❤️🔥
'The Exes Who Froze Embryos and Regret It' - I think there is a good chance this becomes a thing of the past. Well, at least the oocyte extraction. Scientists have already demonstrated the ability to make viable oocytes from skin-derived iPSCs. Moreover, they've been shown to be viable after fertilization and result in live births. The caveat here being, this is in small animals and we're still figuring out the human part!
Maybe it'll help even the scales with the biological bully (;