I know I say this every week, but I’m in awe of you. Truly. Your grace, your courage, your kindness defies reality…or at least circumstances. My heart breaks thinking of these anniversaries and the pain you’ve endured. And it’s strange to think about what I wrote this week in contrast to your reality. I just want to squeeze you so tight! And I am, right now through these digital waves…and I see us — we’re sitting on the beach with the wind blowing through our hair and Delilah’s between. And I’m astounded to be in your presence 🥹❤️
I LOVED reading about your dad. Mine wasn't all bad, there was a lot of good stuff there too. But he doesn't get credit for any of it during that week. Ohhhh, the angst of dichotomy.
I will take ALL THE SQUEEZES ALWAYS FROM YOU. 😍 I can feel them! And Delilah too!
Thank you so much for seeing me and being here. You've been such gift in my life these past. months and I cherish you so. ❤️🔥
Jenovia, I startled at first when I read the date. 1994, a year after my life too was upended by death. But yours, exponentially. These dates pass us by with strange shape shifting powers, sometimes burying us in dread, other times lifting, and even soaring. Yes your mom is proud, what a magnificent treasure you’ve uncovered, perhaps seeking in a million places through your life only to discover it was buried inside your heart. You’re a warrior goddess of monumental proportions and I adore reading how your life has made you who you are.
Thank you so much for being here, for reading the words, and sitting with the weight of it. Not every one can/does. YOU are a warrior goddess yourself! Holding the entire weight of your life and always making room for others. I am honored. It is strange yet makes perfect sense that our paths have crossed with identical years that upended our lives. Kindred spirits. ❤️🔥
Very few people can say they truly understand what a life like yours has been like. Thank you for letting us in a little. As someone who worked in family violence services for 25 years, I am struck by the work you must have done, in whatever ways you have, to be as passionate and grounded about the life you have now as you are. It is healing to my heart to hear about your current riches 🩶
THANK YOU, AMY 😭 I've told you before I have such a soft spot for people who work in family violence. One of the hardest jobs, IMO. The first time my mom left my dad, we went to a family shelter and I will never forget the amazing ladies that helped us there.
I know you've seen the hard work that must be done in those situations, It was a massive undertaking. I was determined to be happy and I was relentless about my happiness. Some people just assume you arrive at this destination. I worked so tirelessly in therapy and on my own to get here. I'm tired AF BUT I'M STILL GOING!
I’m really inspired by you, my friend. AND, I completely co-sign admitting to being TIRED. In victim services, people are often hailed as “tireless advocates” and I would always ask people to never describe me that way because it’s not true. It’s human to be tired by these traumas and all the work that goes into healing. Kudos to you for your authenticity, always ❤️🩹
"Acceptance doesn’t mean I’m skipping and twirling at the fact that he orphaned me and my siblings. It just means the occasional dreams where I’ve dreamt that I murdered him instead have stopped completely. " I just want to sink into the beauty of your words. thank you for sharing your life with us. i truly dont know how you kept going (we just do, right)🖤
and for the good spooky sounding recs, DARK WINDS!! that looks amazing.
"We just do" is exactly right. There are times when I don't know how I did it either because I wanted to give up A LOT. Thank god for my stubborn nature.
Thank you for kind words, Natalie. I appreciate you so 🥹
As Caroline said, I think awe is the only word for it. Your strength and willingness to continue seeing the beauty despite the ills that befell you is deeply awe-inspiring Jenovia.
Thank you for being you and sharing your story. :)
“That’s my girl.” Oh, gosh—my eyes were full of tears by the end of this essay. There is nobody out there who captures the achingly bittersweet truth of life in quite the same way that you do, Jenovia. And while the bitter parts will always be there, I love knowing that the sweet stuff is (deservedly) showing up in full force these days. ❤️
Thank you so much, Maddie. I so appreciate you being here and staying for all the heavy stuff. ❤️🔥 I love knowing the sweet stuff is here too, finally!
You have a gift that is powerful beyond measure. The ability to haunt and charm and soothe at once- it’s so singular. I also love the way you formatted this reflection on September 5th- it was so interesting seeing the contrast between life then and life now. Just exquisite 🖤
I know I say this every week, but I’m in awe of you. Truly. Your grace, your courage, your kindness defies reality…or at least circumstances. My heart breaks thinking of these anniversaries and the pain you’ve endured. And it’s strange to think about what I wrote this week in contrast to your reality. I just want to squeeze you so tight! And I am, right now through these digital waves…and I see us — we’re sitting on the beach with the wind blowing through our hair and Delilah’s between. And I’m astounded to be in your presence 🥹❤️
I LOVED reading about your dad. Mine wasn't all bad, there was a lot of good stuff there too. But he doesn't get credit for any of it during that week. Ohhhh, the angst of dichotomy.
I will take ALL THE SQUEEZES ALWAYS FROM YOU. 😍 I can feel them! And Delilah too!
Thank you so much for seeing me and being here. You've been such gift in my life these past. months and I cherish you so. ❤️🔥
Jenovia, I startled at first when I read the date. 1994, a year after my life too was upended by death. But yours, exponentially. These dates pass us by with strange shape shifting powers, sometimes burying us in dread, other times lifting, and even soaring. Yes your mom is proud, what a magnificent treasure you’ve uncovered, perhaps seeking in a million places through your life only to discover it was buried inside your heart. You’re a warrior goddess of monumental proportions and I adore reading how your life has made you who you are.
“I have indeed made my fortune.
Not with zeros in my bank account.
I’ve never measured treasure in green.
I’m rich in love.” ❤️❤️❤️
A warrior goddess indeed!!
Thank you so much for being here, for reading the words, and sitting with the weight of it. Not every one can/does. YOU are a warrior goddess yourself! Holding the entire weight of your life and always making room for others. I am honored. It is strange yet makes perfect sense that our paths have crossed with identical years that upended our lives. Kindred spirits. ❤️🔥
Love you dear sister. I will always be here to support, mirror, elevate and celebrate you.
And I you! 🫂
This was such a beautiful piece. i am in awe of your strength.
Thank you, Chris. And I am in awe of you! Thank you for always inspiring me.
🖤🖤🖤🖤
❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
September 5th. I won't forget. You're a force of good that the world does not deserve. ❤️
I adore you. Thank you. ❤️🔥
Very few people can say they truly understand what a life like yours has been like. Thank you for letting us in a little. As someone who worked in family violence services for 25 years, I am struck by the work you must have done, in whatever ways you have, to be as passionate and grounded about the life you have now as you are. It is healing to my heart to hear about your current riches 🩶
THANK YOU, AMY 😭 I've told you before I have such a soft spot for people who work in family violence. One of the hardest jobs, IMO. The first time my mom left my dad, we went to a family shelter and I will never forget the amazing ladies that helped us there.
I know you've seen the hard work that must be done in those situations, It was a massive undertaking. I was determined to be happy and I was relentless about my happiness. Some people just assume you arrive at this destination. I worked so tirelessly in therapy and on my own to get here. I'm tired AF BUT I'M STILL GOING!
I adore you so.
I’m really inspired by you, my friend. AND, I completely co-sign admitting to being TIRED. In victim services, people are often hailed as “tireless advocates” and I would always ask people to never describe me that way because it’s not true. It’s human to be tired by these traumas and all the work that goes into healing. Kudos to you for your authenticity, always ❤️🩹
YES YES YES!!! Let us be tired! We've earned it.
Thank you 🫂
👏👏
🙏
"Acceptance doesn’t mean I’m skipping and twirling at the fact that he orphaned me and my siblings. It just means the occasional dreams where I’ve dreamt that I murdered him instead have stopped completely. " I just want to sink into the beauty of your words. thank you for sharing your life with us. i truly dont know how you kept going (we just do, right)🖤
and for the good spooky sounding recs, DARK WINDS!! that looks amazing.
"We just do" is exactly right. There are times when I don't know how I did it either because I wanted to give up A LOT. Thank god for my stubborn nature.
Thank you for kind words, Natalie. I appreciate you so 🥹
DARK WINDS is SO good and I think you'll love it!
Zahn McClarnon is so good. Dark Winds made me appreciate him all the more because of his quiet, understated manner.
I LOVE everything that he does!!!
I held my breath while reading. Cheering you on as you embrace the enormously beautiful life you've built ❤️
Thank you so much, Amelia. I know pieces like these are not easy to digest, so I'm honored that you took the time and gave it your energy. ❤️🔥
As Caroline said, I think awe is the only word for it. Your strength and willingness to continue seeing the beauty despite the ills that befell you is deeply awe-inspiring Jenovia.
Thank you for being you and sharing your story. :)
Thank you, Michael. That truly means so much to me.
“That’s my girl.” Oh, gosh—my eyes were full of tears by the end of this essay. There is nobody out there who captures the achingly bittersweet truth of life in quite the same way that you do, Jenovia. And while the bitter parts will always be there, I love knowing that the sweet stuff is (deservedly) showing up in full force these days. ❤️
And OMG I cannot wait to see Babygirl!!
Thank you so much, Maddie. I so appreciate you being here and staying for all the heavy stuff. ❤️🔥 I love knowing the sweet stuff is here too, finally!
Babygirl looks/sounds SO JUICY!!!! 😍
You have a gift that is powerful beyond measure. The ability to haunt and charm and soothe at once- it’s so singular. I also love the way you formatted this reflection on September 5th- it was so interesting seeing the contrast between life then and life now. Just exquisite 🖤
I fucking love you. ❤️🔥🥹🫂 Thank you.
LOVE YOU ANGEL
yes "Dark Winds"
has a certain existential mystical forebearance mirrored in this newsletter
💫🙏
😍😂 You get me.