Happy Dia de Los Meurtos Jenovia! Welcoming the sniffly, sobby, dark, gutted self in front of the altar—such a powerful way to frame this holiday. That thin-skinned vulnerability mirrors the thin veil this time of year. I love imagining our beloveds reaching through that veil and not just caressing us but joining us for this temporary window of diminished boundaries. May you be filled with their presence and love. ❤️
And I’m crying! As I grow older and older it’s easier to see the beauty in rituals. They aren’t these arbitrary things we do to pass time…they’re more like stopping time. Pausing in the moment to reflect on what was and what will. I’m, per usual, in awe of your reverence. And you will be so deeply in my heart and on my mind tomorrow ❤️🫂😊
Ps — I’m always walking around singing Gary Indiana from the Music Man. Your list made me confess that 🤣
Thank you my love! They do stop time which is so important in our lightening fast society. My rituals keep me sane and connected to my favorite parts of life. I am of the opinion everyone would benefit from rituals, whatever that looks like for them!
I love that Gary Indiana is your haunting song. It's right up there with Lamb Chop's Play-Along This Is The Song That Doesn't End song. 😂
From “It makes no difference that they are not here physically. They deserve every bit of love, affection, and attention in death that was given in life” to “I’ll see you this weekend,” just…chills. 🖤
“What was once long, dripping memories that clung to us at the beginning of our loved ones departure eventually become flashes of smoke-filled shadows the longer they are gone. Now formless, the soft lilt in their voice or the exact weight of their delicate touch drifts away into the great dark nothing. “
So many beautiful words here, Jenovia, but these really connected with me 🙏
I hope your weekend is filled with love and remembrance ❤️
Blink Twice was super-creepy and I've been wanting to discuss it with someone! Felt like it was in and out of theaters quickly. I couldn't get it out of my mind for days afterward, and Channing Tatum was excellent. LOVED the feminist twist at the end!
So creepy! The twist at the end was everything! It also stayed with me for days and made me want to watch it again to soak up all the details I missed the first time not knowing what was happening.
It reminded me of Freeway (1996) with Reese Witherspoon and DEATH PROOF. My favorite genre of films is when women flip the script.
It is a great holiday, and it's no coincidence so many celebrations are marked about the turn of October to November. We've been erecting our ofrenda for the past 20 years, and we know we're getting older now, as every year a new totem, calavera, or talavera seems to be required. :/
beautiful. Grief is so important! I think one of the things I find the hardest about "American" culture is our inability to deal with death. Everything is so sterilized and formal, and so often talked about in terms of religion and heaven and anything else is ignored, forcing people to bottle their emotions up and seek therapy. I wish I could take Oct 31-Nov 1 off every year to commune with life and death. I might look into making that happen because work shmerk
OK Blink Twice I see you! Even though I am terribly sad to hear of Zoe and Channing's breakup??
I have been meaning to read Middlemarch for SO long but I might wait until spring and do a depressing Russian instead
I think every single person on earth would benefit from celebrating DDM or at least starting a similar ritual of their own. We have all lost someone(s) or will in the future. It’s inevitable. DDM has been such an incredible vessel to process my grief. I want that for everyone! I think taking off the 31st-1st would be such a beautiful tradition to do every year, Natalie. ❤️🔥
Zoe and Channing were so cute together but I never thought they’d make it to the altar. 😬 They made a damn good movie together tho!
I also thought about doing a depressing Russian read for the fall. Might try to pull off both bc why not?! 😂
Beautiful writing, as always. Natalie and I were just exchanging comments on her last post about the “who” that we were when our loved ones left this earthly plane (and us). I think for all three of us, it was so long ago that in some ways it feels like another person’s life entirely. Would you agree?
I am loving s2 of Shrinking also! I love the quick dialogue and that it never takes itself too seriously. A perfect escape.
This is the dreamiest writing, as ever, and the first thing I read this morning. Just loved it. 🖤 Being able to sit with grief and be still with it but also to continue live alongside it without getting swept away by the tide of feelings is such a vulnerable, challenging thing to do. Your altar sounds so beautiful and I had tears in my eyes thinking of the favourite things that could be gathered for loves of my own to remember and honour them. This time of year the world feels different, I think, maybe because October is fairly grief-heavy for me too but also because, like you said, the otherworlds feel closer and more tangible somehow.
Middlemarch is great - I love George Eliot but hadn't read that one either for some reason until I listened to the audiobook last year. It was harder in some ways to hold all the characters in my head without text on the page but I loved it nonetheless! Which other classics are your favourites? (Any excuse for some book chat!!).
Haven't seen Blink Twice yet but tempted. Watched Practical Magic last night, a classic. ❤️🔥
Happy Dia de Los Meurtos Jenovia! Welcoming the sniffly, sobby, dark, gutted self in front of the altar—such a powerful way to frame this holiday. That thin-skinned vulnerability mirrors the thin veil this time of year. I love imagining our beloveds reaching through that veil and not just caressing us but joining us for this temporary window of diminished boundaries. May you be filled with their presence and love. ❤️
Thank you, Kimberly! It is truly a magical time of year. Thinking of you and your beloveds today and this weekend. Burning copal in their honor. ❤️🔥
And I’m crying! As I grow older and older it’s easier to see the beauty in rituals. They aren’t these arbitrary things we do to pass time…they’re more like stopping time. Pausing in the moment to reflect on what was and what will. I’m, per usual, in awe of your reverence. And you will be so deeply in my heart and on my mind tomorrow ❤️🫂😊
Ps — I’m always walking around singing Gary Indiana from the Music Man. Your list made me confess that 🤣
Thank you my love! They do stop time which is so important in our lightening fast society. My rituals keep me sane and connected to my favorite parts of life. I am of the opinion everyone would benefit from rituals, whatever that looks like for them!
I love that Gary Indiana is your haunting song. It's right up there with Lamb Chop's Play-Along This Is The Song That Doesn't End song. 😂
From “It makes no difference that they are not here physically. They deserve every bit of love, affection, and attention in death that was given in life” to “I’ll see you this weekend,” just…chills. 🖤
❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 Thinking of you and your mama this weekend, Maddie and burning some copal in her honor. 🫂
Thank you, my sweet friend! 💫
Shall we do a middlemarch book club in November? Much to say about your other thoughts, but I need to ask asap!
Yes!!! I'm so down!!!!
“What was once long, dripping memories that clung to us at the beginning of our loved ones departure eventually become flashes of smoke-filled shadows the longer they are gone. Now formless, the soft lilt in their voice or the exact weight of their delicate touch drifts away into the great dark nothing. “
So many beautiful words here, Jenovia, but these really connected with me 🙏
I hope your weekend is filled with love and remembrance ❤️
Thank you, Daniel!! ❤️🔥
Blink Twice was super-creepy and I've been wanting to discuss it with someone! Felt like it was in and out of theaters quickly. I couldn't get it out of my mind for days afterward, and Channing Tatum was excellent. LOVED the feminist twist at the end!
So creepy! The twist at the end was everything! It also stayed with me for days and made me want to watch it again to soak up all the details I missed the first time not knowing what was happening.
It reminded me of Freeway (1996) with Reese Witherspoon and DEATH PROOF. My favorite genre of films is when women flip the script.
It is a great holiday, and it's no coincidence so many celebrations are marked about the turn of October to November. We've been erecting our ofrenda for the past 20 years, and we know we're getting older now, as every year a new totem, calavera, or talavera seems to be required. :/
It's always difficult adding a loved one to the altar. I hope you have a beautiful weekend of fond memories and deep laughter, Frank. ❤️🔥
Thank you sister, and right back at ya. :)
beautiful. Grief is so important! I think one of the things I find the hardest about "American" culture is our inability to deal with death. Everything is so sterilized and formal, and so often talked about in terms of religion and heaven and anything else is ignored, forcing people to bottle their emotions up and seek therapy. I wish I could take Oct 31-Nov 1 off every year to commune with life and death. I might look into making that happen because work shmerk
OK Blink Twice I see you! Even though I am terribly sad to hear of Zoe and Channing's breakup??
I have been meaning to read Middlemarch for SO long but I might wait until spring and do a depressing Russian instead
I think every single person on earth would benefit from celebrating DDM or at least starting a similar ritual of their own. We have all lost someone(s) or will in the future. It’s inevitable. DDM has been such an incredible vessel to process my grief. I want that for everyone! I think taking off the 31st-1st would be such a beautiful tradition to do every year, Natalie. ❤️🔥
Zoe and Channing were so cute together but I never thought they’d make it to the altar. 😬 They made a damn good movie together tho!
I also thought about doing a depressing Russian read for the fall. Might try to pull off both bc why not?! 😂
Beautiful writing, as always. Natalie and I were just exchanging comments on her last post about the “who” that we were when our loved ones left this earthly plane (and us). I think for all three of us, it was so long ago that in some ways it feels like another person’s life entirely. Would you agree?
I am loving s2 of Shrinking also! I love the quick dialogue and that it never takes itself too seriously. A perfect escape.
This is the dreamiest writing, as ever, and the first thing I read this morning. Just loved it. 🖤 Being able to sit with grief and be still with it but also to continue live alongside it without getting swept away by the tide of feelings is such a vulnerable, challenging thing to do. Your altar sounds so beautiful and I had tears in my eyes thinking of the favourite things that could be gathered for loves of my own to remember and honour them. This time of year the world feels different, I think, maybe because October is fairly grief-heavy for me too but also because, like you said, the otherworlds feel closer and more tangible somehow.
Middlemarch is great - I love George Eliot but hadn't read that one either for some reason until I listened to the audiobook last year. It was harder in some ways to hold all the characters in my head without text on the page but I loved it nonetheless! Which other classics are your favourites? (Any excuse for some book chat!!).
Haven't seen Blink Twice yet but tempted. Watched Practical Magic last night, a classic. ❤️🔥