Faith requires following the power of a whisper.
-Shannon L. Adler
As I ready my book for submission, work a full-time job, nurture my relationship and friendships, there may be more lists and less essays this summer.
As a writer, I don’t believe in anything being indescribable. If that’s the case, I lack imagination and/or I need to strengthen my vocabulary or I need to spend more time with the feeling, experience.
They say it is hard to make friendships when you’re an adult. I would like to add that it can also be REALLY EASY. The friendships I’ve made with the women I’ve virtually met on Substack are turning into some of the most fun, enlivening, inspiring connections I’ve ever made. These women are wildly talented, whip smart, hilarious, kind, and have brightened my days since they’ve crossed my path. You all know who you are and I couldn’t be more grateful.
I’ve started raw dog shooting matcha again. No milk, no pistachio syrup. Just straight matcha tea with water. This is a feat for me because I detest the taste. I drink it solely for the benefits. I first started drinking matcha almost 12 years ago because it helped tremendously with my allergies, ADD, and histamine intolerance. I found it was/is most effective in its purest form. My concentration is infinitely better, no brain fog, my allergies are minimal, I have zero sugar cravings, and it takes away bloat like no other. My favorite brand is here. I do the monthly subscription and it is SO WORTH IT.
We are in a turf war with a mama raccoon and her baby. The mama taunts us by climbing on our roof and breaking into our trash. Joe talks to her like a human and I lovingly tease him for this. When she stares straight into your eyes, piercing your soul, I understand he is not wrong for this.
I love the living of life. I love its little dramas, its disasters, and most of all, its triumphs. The fantasies come true, the colliding of bodies, and the once in a lifetime love that has arrived on my doorstep. It is hard to sit down and create anything when life is this good. Why stare into a screen when I could stare into his infinite pools of wonder? (Got a toothache yet?) Sitting across the room from him is too far. Like a lodestone, I’m pulled to him constantly. We have entered a realm of bliss and gratitude, fascination and mystical transcendence.
The only culture I care about lately is my culture. That one that has existed for thousands of years and the one I cultivate with my family. I try to read pop culture newsletters and I just can’t get into them. That doesn’t stop me from trying!
Pick one day a week that doesn’t have anything to do with achieving a goal. I always get more accomplished during the week when I’ve had at least one day where I frolic about doing whatever I please. Days where I’ll binge watch a show, get lost in some random rabbit hole like following the Huston family tree through Wikipedia, and/or take an aimless 3 hour walk that somehow ends up with an iced coffee in my hand and another plant.
New York’s grey and black squirrels will always feel bizarre to me. I grew up with fox squirrels that had supremely bushy tails. How odd it is that we have little adorable rodents that run around lawns and eat nuts/seeds. Don’t get me started on Australia and koalas.
Speaking of Australia. Years ago I found myself reading a BuzzFeed list (RIP) of all the things found in Australia like Fairy Bread (the amount of time I spent reading about/googling Fairy Bread after that was extraordinary), Huntsman spiders, and other jaw dropping—here is another thing that can kill you—can’t believe this place is real type items. I wish I could find it because it was fascinating and I’ve never been the same after reading it. Probably much like what happens when you visit.
5:15 of D’Angelo’s Untitled (How Does It Feel) always pulls me into the ether where celestial beings exist.
I dreamt of my mother a week ago and I woke up weeping when I realized it wasn’t real. I saw a glimpse of a life I could have had. A life I will never have. This will never not devastate me. In the 30 years that she has been gone, I have dreamt of her less than 10 times.
I finished my 400 page Tomoe River paper journal and it felt monumental. What a year! What a love! What a life! Onto the next!
There is a balsam fir mega candle that I have (the kind with 6 wicks) and smelling it is like a jolt of caffeine. Whenever I need a pick-me-up, I’ll run over to it and sniff a full breath of it then I’m RIPPING AND RUNNING.
In my culture, honoring our ancestors is an important part of our existence. Every day I light a candle and Copal for them whilst expressing my gratitude for their guidance and protection, then I start to write. This is my favorite ritual in life.
What matters most to me is how I’ve loved and how I’ve made others feel. That’s it. The rest is extra.
OF COURSE I ORDERED A MONA PLUSHIE.
Do you have any favorite rituals? Have you ever been to Australia? Are you in love right now? How do you take your matcha?
TELL ME ALL THE THINGS!
🕷️ Thank you for reading JENOVIA’S WEB. Restack on Notes, leave a comment, or hit the heart button if you enjoyed this post. I love hearing from you! 🕸️
Love always,
Jenovia
This was magical as ever. And that note about sitting across from him being too far… I felt that in my soul 🙃 love is so wild
Well maybe all I want this summer are lists!! Because this is where it’s at. I just want to respond to each bullet but that’s insane. So I’ll say I laughed out loud and swooned and held you close to my heart 🤍
PS- Anyone that sweet talks an animal, no matter how feral they are…that’s my kind of people.