I need a break from reading and writing essays. Maybe you need one too? What a ride it’s been this week…
As I was procrastinating looking up new in-network doctors that took my health insurance, I thought I should be grateful that I even have health insurance in the first place and have had it for the majority of my life, then I got angry that I was attempting to talk myself into feeling gratitude for the slop scraps that our country offers us.
I will never forget when I was visiting my friend in Paris and the subject of her health came up. She hadn’t been feeling well, went to the doctor and they found some ovarian cysts that were causing the discomfort. She was talking about the upcoming surgery to have them removed and because I’m a masochist, asked her how much she had to pay for it. She looked at me puzzled.
“Rien.” (Nothing).
Well, not completely nothing. There was an admin fee that cost 20 euros.
I told her the surgery she was about to get would cost around 20-30,000 dollars if she was in the states and didn’t have health insurance. Her eyes bulged. Rightfully so. I then explained how claims for life saving procedures could be denied by greedy insurance companies because they didn’t want to pay.
“Jenovia, I will never understand how or why your country allows their people to die like that.” *cries in American passport*
Speaking of corporate greed! Has anyone been reading/watching about Boeing Co? (Don’t fly Alaska Airlines😵💫) Strange how the Boeing whistleblower conveniently committed suicide in between a legal deposition and was making plans for the future. This was a man who was “looking forward to having his day in court.” Boeing decided to be the most basic of all corporate bitches after they merged with McDonnel Douglas in the 90s and put profits over safety, taking company money to inflate stock prices while cutting costs to keep shareholders happy all whilst putting thousands of lives in literal danger. Recently, from 2014-2018, Boeing diverted 92% of operating cashflow to dividends and share buybacks to benefit investors. It’s all here in this John Oliver segment. Don’t forget to pick your jaw up from the floor after watching it! Weeeeeee! Don’t you just love it here?!
It is a strange existence watching in real time as America eats itself to the end. “Former Treasury Secretary Mnuchin is putting together an investor group to buy TikTok” The speed in which congress passed that bill was stunning. Look, I’m not all doom and gloom but trying to positive Polly your way through a collapsing empire isn’t the move either. Tides are turning. With each passing minute, people are becoming more disenfranchised and disenchanted with our governments greed to rule the world/steal their resources. Righteous rage is what I am feeling. American Imperialism will always be horrifying to me.
Lately, I’ve been more concerned with the living of life than anything else. Shirking light responsibilities, I’ve been leaning into my instincts to take it easy. There are moments when I throw self discipline to the side and lean into pure hedonism because I need it. We are not robots. We were not created to be slaves to a clock, to work, to governments, to ourselves. If I come across one more newsletter about burnout, my eyes will pop out of my head. What good is “success” if it makes you a sick, anxiety-ridden mess that has to eventually quit their job? I’m incredibly ambitious AND I like to lay in bed. A lot. Bed is fun. Bed is safe. Bed is my special place. I’ll arrive at my very specific destination that I have chosen for myself in my own time with my health and sanity in tact.
I’m a dreamer and I never like my feet to touch the ground. I choose to reside mostly in the land of magic. The land of whispers from the Universe, the place where the connection to my ancestors is never severed. The delicate balance between this earthly life and the awareness of the other is something I’ve struggled to maintain in the past. I’ve never quite felt at home in this meat suit, on this planet, and I think that is the whole point. Explore. Experiment. Take it seriously, but not too seriously. This place can make us forget so quickly. It drains the enchantment out of everything and turns it grey, leaving a sea of apathy in its wake. I have vowed to always remind myself of the lightness that is inherent in all of us whilst still holding the heavy. I must always pay my respects to both the agony and the ecstasy of life and the world.
Earth is ghetto, I wanna leave. I’ve played this song countless times since Aliah Sheffield released it three years ago. Pure art.
🕷️ Thank you for reading JENOVIA’S WEB. Restack on Notes, leave a comment, or hit the heart button if you enjoyed this post. I love hearing from you! 🕸️
Love always,
Jenovia
Bed is my safe, special, cosy place too. Yes to taking breaks. Yes to John Oliver segments. Yes to you and your beautiful brain and your words. ❤️
Laying in bed for a full day doing nothing is the most glorious activity there is.