Caught In My Web 🕸️
Things I am currently reading/watching/contemplating #19
“Even when you feel tired of being human and homesick for the stars…”
Melancholy suddenly burst within me as I read that sentence.
At times, I do feel tired of being human. I do feel homesick for the stars. Places I know exist outside of this one—taught to me by my ancestors—on planes our human minds and sight cannot always reach.
In my desire to capture and record the experiences of this particular life, I can grow weary.
The heat. The hate.
The silly responsibilities of a silly society.
I want to sleep on beaches and eat freshly caught fish with my hands. Run through fields of flowers with tangled hair and never be conscious of time again other than noticing when the sun rises and sets. The DNA in my body urging me to remember a different time, a different place.
Still, I persist.
I complete these silly little tasks that tell the world I’m a responsible, capable human. I show up on time, I do my work. Recurring bills are on auto-pay, other extras are promptly settled. I exercise this meat suit, building its muscles and stamina. Eat food that supplies it with energy that allows me to move smoothly through the world. Choices and actions that give me the best shot at playing this game to the best of my ability.
And it is a game to me, these tasks, these responsibilities we are told we must do in order to properly participate in life. I can’t take it seriously. Seeing the death of your loved ones up close removes one’s ability to become lost in the business of living. It can and often does vanish in a second, and what then? What was all of that fretting for?
Anything goes on this planet and that is precisely why my love and disdain for this world exist in equal measure. Two opposite heavily weighted sides that keep me from toppling over.
I watch as the unconscious diligently spin the wheel for someone else, giving too much of themselves for too little and as the wheel spins, more tumble into its fold.
I surrender carefully chosen pieces of myself to conform; I follow convention in the ways that allow me to move undetected amongst the unconscious to then seek out the souls with the dazzling flame of curiosity in their eyes.
Among them, my weariness transforms into remembrance. Through them, all at once, I am reminded of my purpose and they are reminded of their own. I need these people and they need me. Helping each other move along, hand in hand, souls and stories entwined, tossing the load of life back and forth when one of us just can’t do it that day, that week, that month.
For me, it has always been about the people here. These brilliant beings that replace the daunting weight of life with the lightness of love and laughter. We commune and connect, cheer and champion each other on, staving off the weariness from this bizarre and ghastly society that we currently exist in. I don’t believe in coincidence. We were made for each other, in this particular time, in this particular place. The divinity of it all! What gratitude I have for this life! This love! These souls!
And as homesick as I might be for the stars, I would be inconsolable without my people.
Here is this week’s Caught In My Web 🕸️
🕸️ MY MOST ANTICIPATED READ OF THE SUMMER IS HERE.
🕸️ The trailer for Robert Eggers’ NOSFERATU was finally released. It looks interesting but nothing can top Gary Oldman in a wig caressing Winona Ryder’s face as he says, “I’ve crossed oceans of time to find you.”
🕸️ Speaking of vampires. Interview With The Vampire the series S2 on AMC+ is as entrancing as ever. Only one episode left and I’m already mourning its departure. I actually love that they changed up the story line. It feels fresh and exciting.
🕸️ Bamboo toilet paper. I’ve switched out every roll in the house and we couldn’t be happier. I’ll never use the other stuff again.
🕸️ Madly in love with Nicola Coughlan and somehow/someway we need to become best friends. Every single interview she is wildly charming and hilarious. Of course I love her as Penelope Featherington in Bridgerton but don’t sleep on Big Mood. That show is the only reason why I’ve ever visited the Tubi website.
🕸️ Blackmail and murder for hire. This true story about an automobile heir in Austin, Texas…WOW. The level of hubris! The stupidity!
🕸️ Who else is going back to watch season one of House Of The Dragon because season two came out and you half forgot what happened? 🙋🏻♀️
🕸️ Season 3 of The Bear comes out this week! Woo!
🕸️ I’ve used Drunk Elephant sunscreen for a decade and I was so disappointed to see that they not only raised the price by $2 (not that terrible), they changed the packaging from 3 fl oz to 2 fl oz. Greed is gross.
🕸️ Ordered earrings from my best friend’s latest jewelry drop and I can’t wait until they arrive. Go to Sayran.com for all the magical adornment!
What Has Been Caught In Your Web 🕸️This Week?
🕷️ Thank you for reading JENOVIA’S WEB. Restack on Notes, leave a comment, or hit the heart button if you enjoyed this post. I love hearing from you! 🕸️
Love always,
Jenovia
Just talking to a co-worker today about this same idea. Who made these rules we play by? So many arbitrary things we have to do on a daily basis to make our way forward “properly”. It’s exhausting.
Wonderfully written, thanks for this piece.
Your words paint the game and the feeling of playing it so vividly. I always appreciate how you’re forever tuned into the life that there is to be lived in between the lines. I think, proverbially speaking, that’s a part of why we always had that ability to spot each other in the universe, party or crowded room as if no one else was there. I love meeting other people who are tuned into those channels. Another very beautiful sentiment. Words, I like to think our souls whisper but can’t seem to find a tongue. Also very matter of factly, when the weather comes round to your favor in the fall, we’re going to sleep on a beach, catch fish, eat it with our bare hands and tumble through fields of beach grass and cattails…just sayin.
ps: also my booty thanks you for stocking the house with bamboo TP. 🙏🏼